Okay, I know that alot of you that read my blog is probably thinking does this woman really knows what she wants she is awful wishy washy...I'm really not I'm just unsure where my heart is going. My desire to have more children came many years ago after my son was born. I knew I wanted more and at the age of 18 I started trying....I did the whole nine yards, Clothes, shoes, decorating, and I just knew I was going to have a girl. Well 8 years later, NO baby and an ended marriage I sorta gave up the chance to parent again. Then I met Jed and he wanted children and we knew with my infertility we would have to adopt. SO we found Madisyn and fought tooth and nail to get her home, And we did...And we couldn't be more happy or could we.
Our hearts isn't done, We knew three months after bringing her home we wanted another child. Which country, what would we need to do first, Where will the funding come from, Where would the funding come from??? That would be our biggest optical. I wanted to do domestic, No wait my heart is in Ethiopia so lets do that country, But there are so many orphans here so lets do domestic with the chance of being in the hospital room when the child is born. Then we met Megan, OH dear sweet Megan....She was 7 months pregnant with the intentions of not keeping the child. Could this be our next baby....She promised us it would be. SO when little Mariah was 6 weeks old we were asked to come and get her, And be her parents...So A big sigh of relief left us that day thinking okay we are done for now...so the next four months were perfect, Hectic but perfect. Then the tragic day would come and we would lose Mariah to her Birth father....OMG...
SO after I beat myself up on what I did wrong or what I should have done, I dove right back in to wanting to adopt again...Do I know what country? NO.....Do I know when? NO.....But I do know it will happen.
But you know what I am doing first, I'm giving my life to the lord...Not half way, Not a couple of Sunday's a month...I'm giving my FULL life to him, I want him to control me and me not control myself because I'm not doing something right. I love him and I know who he is, But I want him to be my SOLE....I want him to have my SOLE.....So you are looking at a new and improved blogger, mother, wife and friend....We will have another child, Who knows maybe two..But it will be when God wants us too!
Now for some cuteness to tide you over from the heart post..
Madisyn was at a birthday party and couldn't wait for the cupcakes..
I had her dad lick some of that sweet icing off and she didn't want to wait...
Random Sweetness
Edited to ADD: We could never FORGET about Madisyn while searching for another child that is just Crazy.....It is just very important to our family for Madisyn to grow up with a sibling. I had three sisters and my husband had one brother and siblings are very important to us. So could we forget about Madisyn in this UMM I don't think so!
8 comments:
Why in the world would a child not be allowed to be around other children?
And I never thought for once you were wishy washy. I thought "this woman knows what she wants, but seems to keep getting the short end of the stick".
I hope that you and your family expand as much as you want it!
Thank you Lilith.....I'm trying!!!
YOU KEEP PLUGGING ALONG FARRAH AND NEVER GIVE UP. YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND YOUR BABY IS OUT THERE, AND WAITING FOR YOU. THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO ,IS GIVE IT TO THE LORD ABOVE AND HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR CHILD.I KNEW SOME DAY I WOULD HAVE TWO BOY'S, AND I NEVER GAVE UP. NOW I HAVE MY TWO BEAUTIFUL BOY'S. SOME DAY'S I WANTED TO GIVE UP AND STOP THE FIGHT, BUT I DIDN'T, AND NOW LOOK WHAT I HAVE. I WISH YOU THE BEST.
You will find the baby that is meant to be in your family. Keep at it.
Farrah... this journey of ups and downs is what will lead you to your child-to-be. You will know THEN why you had to go through all of the NOW to finally be united with him or her. I believe that God has it firmly planted in your heart to love another child and He knows which child that is meant to be. Hang in there... and keep following your heart... He is directing you from within and eventually you will discover His plan for you.
You go girl! And never forget to FROG (Fully Rely On God)!!
you know Farrah, I have no idea what God has in store for you and I mean this with love, I really do. But please don't forget about Madisyn while searching for another baby because you may wake up one day and *poof* Madisyn is grown and you are still looking for the next baby. Again, I don't say this to be mean, I'm actually speaking from experience. I look back at pictures of Valentina when she first came home and I don't really remember that time, I was tired, I was getting used to having a baby, and I kept wanting her to "be this age" or "be like this" or "do this" and now? I can't get that time back so I'm really TRYING to enjoy every second. No, the temper tantrums are not fun, and there are times when I get tired and just think "how much longer until she goes to sleep?" and I have NEVER FOR A SECOND doubted your love for Madisyn, I know you would do ANYTHING for her. But that is my 2 cents, and it's worth about that much! I hope you don't take this as a bash, because it's NOT MEANT THAT WAY!!! Remember, I'm not that cowardly Rockamom who doesn't have the balls to leave her real identity on her posts. Take care!
To Cameo's comment...
I apreciate everything you said but I could never FORGET about Madiysn, That is a hugh joke...I love her to the moon and back and she gets every second of my day when she is awake...I have never had a moment when I don't remeber something about her since she has came home. I remember every moment of the days we've had and I wouldn't change a thing. I love reading all your comments and I don't mind sharing my personal life with cyber friends, But Cameo come on I could never FORGET about my daughter that is right in front of me 24/7.
I don't know what God has in store for us either and who knows Madisyn may be the only child Jed and I have, But don't think for one minutes we will give up!!!
Adoption is such a stressful yet beautiful thing. It is hard for us parents that are building our families via adoption. Many people think that once you adopt you are done. I had some people comment, you are adopting AGAIN? I felt like saying do you say that to couples who are pregnant with their second child? Needless to say here we are and I am scared to death. I love Kaleb so much and the thought of having 2 overwhelms me a bit. God will see us through and that is an awesome thing for us to be able to count on. Just keep your eyes on our Lord Jesus Christ and He will lead you where you need to go!!!!
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