Tuesday, December 2, 2008

When does it go Away.....

When does the desire to adopt and have children go away? Me & Shelby was talking about this the other night and I'm curious myself to see what others have to say....My desire to parent children and collect them up like aluminum cans will not go away! As hard as I fight it, through the tears, and the arguments, The desire is still so very deep in my heart. I can't make it cease. When I read Corey's blog post today it broke my heart into about a thousand different pieces for those children of Guatemala...About a month after Madisyn came home we wanted so badly to do another child from Guate and then the problems started and No money we couldn't do it then. But now that I see all the problems and the children on the streets begging for Food...They aren't asking for Littlest Pet Shop's and Thomas the Tank Trains, They are asking for Bread and water so they can live. No one knows how this rips my heart out of my chest. I would love to go back to Guatemala but I'm afraid I would be traumatized Seriously....My heart already hurts.


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6 comments:

JiLL said...

I would like to know the answer to your question too. There are just sooo many children out there in the world that need loving parents like you and I. Why is it sooo hard for us to adopt, when there are children STARVING to death. It just doesn't make sense to me, the cost of adoption, the long waits, and all the red tape we have to go through. Hang in there!

Angie said...

I understand your feelings Farrah. We would like to adopt again too but financially it isn't possible and may never be. We have chosen to focus on our daughter right now and pray that the pieces fall in to place like they did with Gabbie's adoption. If it is meant to be then it will be and if she is meant to be our only child then it will be that way too. We have things we want to be able to do, like save for college, so if we can only afford one in order to do these things we will.

I completely hear you though because if adoption was less expensive we would do it again in a heart beat!!! The situation in Guatemala breaks my heart also. It makes no sense.

Anonymous said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I started the adoption process with the intention of only adopting one child and now I want a house full. I live on a border town to Mexico and to see the poverty and kids begging just a few miles from us here in the US makes me so sad.

Amy said...

I am with you Farrah, you know Shelby and I went back to Guat a year or so ago and it was hard to watch then.When you are going through the adoptions you are kind of in a fog so focused on your child but to drive around and really pay attention, its very sad. I dont think it really ever goes away particularly you want another child so bad but even with the 2 I have, I look at Guatemala and want another one..

Carrie, Rich and the Kids said...

I feel the same way and was almost in tears when I read Corey's post. I so wish I could help and that the program wasn't closed. I want another child from Guatemala so badly. We considered adopting quickly again to beat the closure too, but knew in our hearts it wasn't fair to Savannah and she needed her time. And of course, the bank account had to be replenished. I know if it ever reopens I will want to go back.

I don't think the desire ever goes away. We are done after our son comes home, but I know in my heart I will have the desire for more. I would adopt and keep adopting if I could and I thought it was good for the kids I have ( or will have).

Nikki said...

Really interesting post. IT would be amazing if you went back to Guatemala. It is always hard going somewhere with poverty, but just try to remember that it's not about you, it's about the kids. You may be 'traumatized' but think about how much joy and help it would give to THEM.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other, One you do not remember, the other you call Mother,Two different lives shaped to make you one,One became your guiding star, the other became your sun,The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it,The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it,One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name,One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim,One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears,One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears,One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do,The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you. Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.---- Unknown